Lamentations of Texas

Hey Family,
Wow, I am almost at 9 months which I can’t believe! That is a very long time. (In fact, for those of you that don’t know that is the amount of time that it takes, from the moment of conception until birth, to form a baby.) That is a really long time. All my friends could have children now and I wouldn’t even know because I don’t really hear from them so who knows what is going on in their lives.
But anyway, with this 9 months thing, for the most part I think it is going too fast, however the last few days I kind of wished I was camping the mountains of Utah, blasting music from the Mars Volta, and wasting my life away in that wonderfully mind-numbing virtual reality of Command and Conquer. My fingers have been itching to play those songs I have all forgotten on guitar and I have felt pangs of longing to spend a relaxing day on the beautiful, soft, sandy, beaches of the Great Salt Lake, with its crystal clear water and shiny black brine shrimp… I wrote an addition to the book of lamentations the other day:
Oh Texas,
You have wrecked us,
You bring us no joy.

With your prophesied summer,
It’s rather a bummer,
To know that the temperature is rising.

Your women are fat,
And often Mexican,
But there is nothing wrong with that,

Even though there is no problem with the hispanicity,
There is still a problem with the fat,

Oh Texas, woe, woe be unto you,
Repent or be damned,
Are the words that I say that I know are true.

You always make me feel sweaty,
And one time, the English Elders covered my room with confetti,
And it always stinks in Pasadena
Rotting garbage
Decapitated possums with maggots.

Oh Texas, my love
Give me your Mexicans,
And I will baptize them unto repentance.

Well family, I know that the rhyme scheme is a little avant-garde. You might not be accustomed to such art but as you begin to study art as I have, and llegar a ser a connoisseur, you will understand the beauty and truth of my artistry.

We do have a twelve year kid named Anthony that is very excited about the gospel. He is living in the home of a semi-active member. His mom and family are not members but I think his example will bring them into the church. He is reading the Book of Mormon everyday and he understands it very well. Better than most the adults we teach. He has a baptismal date for the 15th of May and he is very excited for it and also he is very excited to be a part of the scouting program. I hope he goes through with it all and then he can be a missionary in 7 years.
I gotta go fam. I love you all. I love this mission. The past couple days have been hard but it is good. Pray for me because I need it a lot.
Love,
Bernsides